


I Want Peace

by allthehearteyes



Series: It Sounds Like Fluff to Me [1]
Category: Roswell New Mexico (TV 2019)
Genre: Fluff, Guitar, Love, M/M, Music, Tears, apology, big gesture, campsite
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-01
Updated: 2019-03-01
Packaged: 2019-11-07 05:09:41
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,771
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17954180
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/allthehearteyes/pseuds/allthehearteyes
Summary: Alexsayswhat needs to be said





	I Want Peace

**Author's Note:**

> I've been inspired! This is the first fic in the new It Sounds Like Fluff to Me series. I am convinced these two can make it work if they can just get there. Here's my attempt to make that happen. 
> 
> _I want love_  
>  _I want us_  
>  _I want you_  
>  _I want me_  
>  _I want peace_  
>  \-- _Peace_ by O.A.R.
> 
> I hope you enjoy. ❤️
> 
> ~~find me on Tumblr (same name)~~

Michael pulls up to the dark campsite. He gets out of his truck and slams the door shut. He sees Alex sitting on a chair, on the far side of the fire pit, and holding a guitar. Michael is sad, and angry, and tired. He’s tired of chasing Alex, of the cat and mouse game. He’s tired of feeling alone, of being alone, and he’s not sure his mangled heart can take much more.

He approaches the circular sitting area, his body heavy with exhaustion. Michael sighs, and stares at Alex from across the flames. Isn’t that poetic? Always something between them.

“What? Why did you want me to come out here?”

…

Alex doesn’t respond, he can’t. He doesn’t know how. He wants to say what needs to be said, but can’t. So he starts playing chords. He’s not looking at Michael, he’s not sure he can bear it. Alex knows he doesn’t have the right words, but this song says it all. Says everything he wants to say. It’s every apology, every declaration, every bit of bravery he owes Michael.

Alex is scared and afraid. Afraid his voice will crack, afraid Michael will reject him, afraid it’s too late… But there’s no way in hell he’s not going to try.

So Alex sings.

 _I don’t wanna fight no more_  
_I only wanna get to shore_  
_Baby don’t slam the door tonight_  
_We ran another off the tracks_  
_That’s time we can’t get back_  
_We can save tomorrow if we try_

He chances a glimpse at Michael. He hasn’t turned away, but he’s not smiling either. His face looks tight with strain. Alex almost loses his nerve, but his center holds. He’s got to get out of his head, out of his own way. He’s got to do this for Michael, for them.

So he continues.

 _Oh oh oh oh until we make this right_  
_Oh oh oh oh I won't say good night_

 _I just wanna make you laugh_  
_I just wanna see that smile_  
_Babe we're only here, oh for a little while_  
_I just wanna hold you till we fall asleep_  
_I want love, I want us, I want you, I want me, I want peace_

…

Michael feels confused and lost, thoughts jumbled. The last thing Alex said to him, really said to him, is that he “can’t be with a criminal”. He all but told Michael he wasn’t good enough, wasn’t worth fighting for, only an easy lay. A lark, a fuck, a laugh. Nothing more.

He tries to listen to the words, but he’s getting lost in the notes, and the steady ease of Alex’s hand as he strums the guitar.

 _Everybody needs a place, somewhere that's warm and safe_  
_For shelter from this crazy world we're in_  
_But tonight I let the rain inside, I took away your place to hide_  
_I'm sorry that I made you cry again_

 _Oh oh oh oh we can make this right_  
_Oh oh oh oh kiss me good night_

 _I just wanna make you laugh_  
_I just wanna see that smile_  
_Babe we're only here, oh, for a little while_

 _I just wanna hold you till we fall asleep_  
_I want love, I want us, I want you, I want me, I want peace_  
_Yea I want peace_

He just watches Alex. Michael doesn’t know what to do. He’s afraid to trust, to believe, to even hear the words. His heart is racing, body buzzing with...tension? Anxiety? Anticipation? He has no idea what to call it, but he feels like he wants to crawl out of his skin, while simultaneously feeling a sense of peace he hasn’t felt in a decade. A fucking decade alone.

He tries to maintain a passive, unaffected face, but he can feel tears stinging behind his eyes and his throat go dry. He shifts his attention to Alex’s down turned face, shadows from the fire flickering across him like a lover’s caress. Watching those long lashes blink, those lips as they say all the words he’s always wanted to hear. The words that mean so much, too much maybe. Maybe.

…

Alex feels like he can’t breathe, almost like he’s suffocating, but somehow he keeps singing. He calls on all the strength he’s ever had, all the determination, all the defiance, all the drive, and continues...for Michael.

 _Oh oh oh oh we don't have to fight_  
_Oh oh oh oh just kiss me all night_  
_'Cause I want peace yeah yeah_  
_I just wanna make you laugh_  
_I just wanna see that smile_  
_Babe we're only here, oh, for a little while_

 _I just wanna hold you till you fall asleep_  
_I want love, I want us, I want you, I want me, I want peace_

Alex feels raw, exposed, like all of his protective layers have fallen away. It’s terrifying, excruciating, exquisite. This is his truth, his place to begin. The clearest way to tell Michael not all is lost. Despite their painful past, their time apart, their...distance...he’s never left him, not really. They’ve always been two pieces that fit together, spinning forces drawn across time and space. They’ve always been the best versions of themselves together. Not perfect, never perfect, but deeply flawed aching hearts that have always sought out one another.

He can’t believe it’s taken him so long, so long to understand, to accept that Michael Guerin is his destiny. He always was. Always has been. Alex takes a deep breath and looks up. Lump rising in his throat he sees, really sees Michael, and his thundering heart almost stops.

Michael looks like a goddamned dream. His exquisite face framed with hard edges. That stubborn jawline, and slightly crooked nose that never looks out of place. Those unruly curls that are _always_ out of place, and perfect. Michael’s sweet mouth, slightly open; Alex can practically see the air flowing over and through those lips made for loving and for sin. His eyes. His eyes that look like a lion’s golden gaze, strong and proud. Alex can see Michael’s eyes have gone soft, but he’s made no attempt to move toward him.

So Alex keeps singing. It’s all he has, the only way he knows to reach Michael and try to make this, _them_ , real.

 _I just wanna make you laugh_  
_I just wanna see that smile_  
_Babe we're only here, oh, for a little while_  
_I just wanna hold you till you fall asleep_  
_I want love, I want us, I want you, I want me, I want peace_  
_I want love, I want us, I want you, I want me, I want peace_  
…

Michael feels like he’s not getting enough air, while also getting too much air. He can practically feel Alex’s eyes as they scan his face for something. He schools his features as much as he can, but he knows his eyes always give him away. He feels his eyes burning with unshed tears. He also feels when his efforts fall short and two warm, wet drops roll down his cheeks. He sees Alex’s tears too, and it’s enough to push him into action.

He walks around the fire and crosses the distance between them. He crouches down next to Alex. He rests his scarred hand on Alex’s leg as he finishes strumming the last notes.

They stare at each other in silence for a few beats. Neither of them seeming to know what to say or do now. Just as Michael’s found his voice, he hears Alex’s broken words.

“Michael...you’re the only peace I’ve ever known. I’m sorry...so sorry. For everything...for then...for now.” Alex’s tears slowly track down his face. Michael reaches his other hand to wipe the warm wetness away. Doesn’t he know? Doesn’t he know that for me, he’s it? Michael clears his throat.

“Alex...this was, is, beautiful, but you have to know that I’m yours, all yours, if you’re saying you want me.”

“I am. I do. I want you. To be with you, for real. I’m only asking for a chance to try and show you how sorry I am. To show you how much you mean to me, to show you I’m all in for you, for _this_ , for us.”

Michael shifts his legs and kneels in the dirt, he can feel the rocks and gravel digging in, but he pays it no mind. He gently takes the guitar out of Alex’s hands and places it on the ground. He reaches both hands forward, palms resting on either side of Alex’s face.

“I see you Alex Manes. I saw who you were in high school and see who you are now. I believe in you. I trust you...with everything. My heart is owned by you.”

He brings their faces close, resting their foreheads together. Michael closes his eyes, and feels Alex’s body relax, almost sag. He feels as Alex brings his hands to rest at the base of his neck, slowly rubbing thumbs back and forth along his stubbled jawline.

“I love you, Michael Guerin.” Alex whispers. Michael takes in a slow, deep breath.

“I love you, Alex Manes. I think I always have,” Michael whispers back.

“I always have. _Always_.” Alex’s soft confession causes Michael’s body to flood with warmth.

He finally, finally, closes the remaining distance between them. Their lips come together in loving reverence. Gentle brushes, and soft caresses.

…

Alex is awestruck, amazed, happy. He moves his hands into Michael’s hair, clutching him close. Tilting Michael’s head, he slants their mouths together in a perfect fit.

~~~

They lie next to one another on sleeping bags near the fire. Alex is curled up on his side, head resting in the crook of Michael's shoulder, his arm and leg draped across Michael’s body. Michael has one hand behind his head and the other one wrapped tightly around a warm, sleepy Alex.

He feels the steady rise and fall of Alex’s body as he starts to drift off. He smiles to himself. They hadn’t talked much, but had agreed they needed to have more conversations later. They needed to work as a team to figure things out, that neither one was going anywhere, and that their time was now. They’d looked up at the stars and just held one another tight. Soft kisses, strong arms, legs twined together. It was simple, pure, true.

Michael takes a deep breath and fills his lungs with scents of Alex, starlight and desert air. He falls asleep feeling happy, hopeful, and humming the song Alex sang to him.

Two halves of a whole, complete again.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for taking the time to read.


End file.
